Comedy
“Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome. It will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like look a this dude, f**king love this guy”
“[Leaving the party at 7:30pm] Sorry I have to go home and give Prozac to my cat”
“Love how no matter what im doing my dog is like f**k yeah lets do this”
WHAT'S HAPPENING
“I can’t be the only person who gives their dogs a complete rundown of where I’m going and when I’ll be getting home whenever I leave the house.”
“A John Wick movie where he goes around assassinating neighbors who upset the local dogs with their fireworks.”
"i have checked and there is nothing in the rule book that says a dog can not be james bond"
"sometimes i like to remind the cats that they're adopted"
“animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.”
“i am a friend to all cats. yes even the mean ones. they have their reasons”
"wow i absolutely love your outfit the black really brings out the pet hair on it"