The Funniest Posts From Women This Week (July 26-August 1)

I cannot be expected to work under these circumstances (Tuesday)

— blob ross 🌱 (@probably_ayla) July 29, 2025

me, crazy? i found out he was cheating and instead of crashing out i screenshotted the proof, made a fake account and told him to pay me or i’ll tell his gf. he paid me within 18 mins.

— marce (@MarceAlgara) July 28, 2025

please take your apple watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. you look like a spy kid

— ً (@diomuarr) July 29, 2025

One of my longest standing hobbies is thinking about whether I should get an iPad. It’s not about the iPad it’s about imagining the alternate life I might live as someone who has an iPad. Love to wonder about it

— freia lobo (@freialobo) July 30, 2025

your offline friends are so important because there is no grounding exercise more powerful than having to explain a meme to someone who is just staring at you blankly

— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) July 27, 2025

sometimes i feel like people don’t understand the purpose of reviewing/rating a product. you’ll look at a review for a pair of shoes and it’ll be like, “great shoe. even cuter in person. just perfect. comfortable too. but i ordered the wrong size so i had to give it 1 star.”

— latke (@latkedelrey) July 28, 2025

Every Friday: can't wait to get my life together over the next 48 hours

Every Sunday: oh no

— meghan (@deloisivete) July 27, 2025

My peak performance morning routine? Coffee, toast, then enter my Microsoft Authenticator six-digit code about 500 times

— katie (@pipterino) July 28, 2025

My mum: Please don’t walk through that park by yourself. I worry something might happen.

Me: But I’ve done it for years, and you were always fine with it.

Mum: Yes, but you used to have the dog to protect you.

The dog in question: pic.twitter.com/ufpRYMxUcS

— Grace (@graceyldn) July 28, 2025

maybe the real american dream is the debt we collected along the way

— trash jones (@jzux) July 29, 2025

me when i got my period https://t.co/ojqTACzt6u

— smalls (@StephieSmallls) July 28, 2025

I just asked my boyfriend today what he's most afraid of and I thought he was gonna say "I'm afraid of losing you" but he literally said "YOU"😭😭

— 𐙚 (@shut_thefu_) July 28, 2025

a child: what’s that?

me holding an oreo milkshake: it’s spicy you won’t like it.

— ً (@diomuarr) July 29, 2025

guy in paris just told me he puts a picture of his AC unit on his dating apps to attract the girls during the summer 😭😭😭 this is sending me

— mollie :3 (@vuse_lover) July 28, 2025

Not dating for marriage or for fun but for a secret third thing (need a back massage)

— Vanessa (@cyrillasundays) July 29, 2025

Almost made it through an entire weekend with my parents without wanting to throw myself into traffic but while driving them to the airport this morning, my mom hits me with the “so do you plan on losing weight for your sister’s wedding?” buzzer beater.

— Julia Shrek (@juliashrek) July 28, 2025

I can't believe camouflage actually fooled me I feel like a big fucking stupid moose https://t.co/XpRbBYUwqv

— Redd (@ReddCinema) July 28, 2025

normally I try very hard to love every version of myself but the me who decided a week ago that I’d totally want to put a new fitted sheet on my bed at 11pm after getting home from vacation can fuck off into the sun

— Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) July 28, 2025

I’ve never pronounced the “L” so hard in my life than when I went into Ace Hardware asking for caulk just now

— Shannon (@gardengirl125) July 30, 2025

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad

— rachel coster (@RACH4_theSTARZ) July 30, 2025

very very very hard when someone you’re planning a trip with does not get the Spirit of the vacation. “instead of a quaint coastal b&b, why don’t we just camp,” yes, sure … instead of joy perhaps we could have misery,

— Nat Purser (@NatPurser) July 30, 2025

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs ibuprofen”and “downstairs ibuprofen”.

— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) July 31, 2025